Sarcasm implied

Dear Friend,

Thanks for being such a good listener and not b— back at my notes–I feel so much better (sarcasm implied)…

Love, Mandy

Another incompetent employee

Dear employee,

You are an educated adult in need of using your critical thinking skills..please do so..

Love, Mandy

Dear Hubster

Dear hubby,
Telling someone to wait to do something urgent on their very much needed day off is not a way to win friends and influence people…do you know whom you’ve been sleeping with for the past 30+yrs?
Would you like to keep on doing so?
Love, Mandy

You’re not the boss

Dear scheduler,

You are not the boss and don’t control the workplace..get over it and yourself!
Love, Mandy

Bankers

Dear Bank VP guy,

How can you possibly have all of these awards and screw up 4 x in a row with one person. I’m tired of hearing but “You’re the first in the development and a human guinea pig!” Leave it at the door… If I could tell the world not to use your services, I would. But,we need to move on and get this mortgage through without any more delays… you and your Sr. mortgage person are major f-ups…

Love, Mandy

Old builders

Dear builder,

How old are you? Ancient comes to mind due to the dementia you appear to have everytime we need to remind you of a promise made…sorry it’s costing you big bucks, but a deal is a deal and the reason why we agreed to build… get over it, suck it up and build my beautiful home as agreed upon…

Love, Mandy

I’m not your mother

Dear Staff,

In a perfect world, evverything would be done according to my plan… this is not a perfect world. You all know your responsibilites and need to follow through with them…I am not your mother nor do I wish to be… do you work, including the appropriate documentation,not just the fun parts… that’s what you get paid to do…

Love, Mandy

Speeder

Dear speeder,

This is not ok: “My husband had the Ting Tings (a band) cranked up a little too loud, forgot to pay attention, and found himself pulled over by a Prairie Village cop in souped-up Dodge Charger (sweet). After a long, subversive plea the kind officer awarded him a ticket for going 38 in a 25. Does anyone know someone who fixes tickets in KS for cheap? Or better yet does anyone know someone who works in the Johnson County Prosecuting Attorney’s office?”

How stupid and dishonest can you be? You sped, you got caught, you pay the ticket…

Love,

Mandy

Secretary

Dearest SECRETARY,

You suck and you have fake hair and I am sorry for your child and that he or she has you for a mother.  Cause you are a terrible horrible no good very bad person and I am sorry for what ever happened to you in your life to make you that way.  But please refrain from taking it out on me,  cause I too am a bitch and I will F*** your day up.

LOOOOOOVE, MANDY

ASSistant

Dear ASSistant,

If you are going to gripe and complain and be o so NOT helpful during the set up or running of a week long project Please do not come in after break down and clean up sucking up to the boss for the thanks for participating part of the project!

Love Mandy